A stranger walks up to you at a coffee bar, tries to sell you on something, and then lies or provides misleading information. How many chances do you give her? Will you listen to her a second or third time? Most likely not. You subconsciously set her reputation as low and won’t give her another chance. She’s coming into your brand new relationship with her hand out asking for something. And she’s building that relationship on an unstable foundation with no trust. You’ve got to be a kind hearted and patient person to give her another chance.
Let’s think through the same scenario, without the lies or misleading information. A person comes up to you at a coffee shop and tries to sell you on something. If you are honest with yourself, do you even listen to what she has to say? Or do you wait until she’s finished and politely decline? How many chances will you give that person? I doubt it would be many, if any, more than the first person.
If you have a perfect sales pitch with a 100% success rate then either of these strategies will work. But you don’t. You need more than one chance. You need to build a real relationship with the person you are selling to – going in with no intention of a sale and only an intention of forming a relationship. That takes time. And speaking of time, taking that person’s time is still asking without giving.
How many chances will you give a friend you’ve known for years? Probably still not more than a handful, but more than one.