Now that we’re starting a new company, my job duties have changed quite significantly from my previous consulting work. In that position I was mostly working on functionality and I made things look decent but not really good. The software was meant to do a job rather than convey a feeling and message.
The work we have to this point has little to no functionality. It is all about the design and making websites look good. And I have to admit that I’m struggling at this. I’m worn out half way through the day and I have to work hard to figure out what to do. It doesn’t come nearly as fluidly as programming and it’s really making me question my abilities.
Despite believing that anyone can learn anything I have doubts. Despite seeing progress in the couple of months I’ve been doing more design-centric things I don’t believe in myself. I know I have the technical skills to do HTML and CSS but I feel like layout and colors and typography and images are exhausting. I feel like I have a giant hill to climb.
Today I figured out the root of my crisis of confidence. I fear that I’ll never get good at this and that I’m wasting my time. I’m not sure how to handle that. For now, I’m going to fight through it and see what happens.