Is it ego? Do I want to be liked or feel powerful or better about myself? I don’t think so – I don’t think ego would have taken me this far. I think ego would have given up after at least a year of creating and not seeing the return it wants. I don’t think ego drives me.
Is it greed? Again, I don’t think greed would be following the path I am. If greed were driving me I’d be spending all my waking hours working in someone else’s consulting firm. I’d make all the money and they’d take the risk.
It is interesting that I haven’t asked myself this question before, because I really do want an audience. I want to find the people with whom my stories will resonate. Until yesterday I had never wondered why.
I think my why is generosity. I want to be able to give to people who will be receptive of what I have to give. Generosity explains building apps for free. Generosity explains writing every day with no guarantee of any sort of return.
But maybe my why is community. Finding others who think about the same things I do and care about the world in the same way too. I’ve never been much of a member of a group. But maybe I haven’t found that group.
I’m still not 100% sure what is driving me. It is probably a small bit ego, maybe a little greed, a whole lot of generosity and who knows how much community.